After many frustrating weeks of putting Ella to bed and dealing with her stubbornness, her unreasonableness, her redundancies, her seemingly downright nutty requests, I witnessed proof last night that she is knowingly playing me. Some may find this disturbing; me, I found it inspiring. I will win.
It was subtle, but I saw it. I had just gotten her into her bed, put her blankets on while she rattled off her usual nonsensical string of phrases while I rattled off my own string of what she must think is nonsensical BECAUSE THEY NEVER MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO HER. I told her that I love her and that I would not close my door. And then I warned her that I was going to give her "one more hug and kiss," and then stand up and leave. I told her I didn't want her asking for another hug and kiss... I would say "I love you" on the way out the door... And I would not close my door. And I didn't want her asking me about any of that. "Okay?" I ended my shpeel.
She nodded. So I gave her "one more hug and kiss" and threw in an "I love you." Our eyes met. My heart started to race. I formulated my approach to exiting. I was building up my resolve to hold firm that I would not get suckered back in to "one more hug and kiss." I felt like I could do it.
Meanwhile, she continued to stare at me. She's waiting for me to start to leave to ask for that damn hug and kiss, I thought to myself. So I flinched my body upward; and as quickly as I did that, she flinched toward me and opened her mouth as if she was going to say something. When she realized I wasn't standing and leaving, she stopped herself. She grinned, a conniving, I-own-you kind of grin.
I have known that she's playing me for awhile now, but this was the first time I witnessed her actually think about pushing my buttons. It was all reaction before. Apparently, there's a precise time to starting her bit. And I caught that.
Sadly, that's my favorite thing from yesterday. Oh, and Ella did eat all of her dinner at IHOP a few hours earlier.
(Note: I'm posting this a little after midnight. "Yesterday" in this case is Thursday.)
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