The Birthday Suit Appeared Few Days Early

To say that Ella is pleasant in the morning would be the overstatement of our lifetimes.  Robinson Cano’s contract with the Mariners overstates his worth less than saying Ella is pleasant overstates her morning demeanor and personality.

This week is Dan’s week to work from home, which is nice because it takes the pressure off of us to get the kids up, dressed and out the door in time to catch our train in to the City.  Mostly, it takes the pressure off of me.  Even better, if I’m lucky enough, I can slip out of the house before the little princess wakes up and spreads her “cheer” (or her un-cheer, for that matter).

The kids were still in their beds when I finished getting ready this morning.  Sweet.  I gave Dan a good-morning-good-bye kiss and headed downstairs stepping down the right side of them because I think they’re less creaky there.   Only Zoe, our cat, was on my heels.  Nice and pleasant.  I love you, I said to my kids in my head, hoping it might telepathically transmit to their heads.

I fed Zoe, poured my coffee and grabbed my boots, and then I heard the princess’s voice calling for Daddy.  I don’t remember her exact words, but I do remember she had an attitude, like, the negative kind of attitude… the kind we used to call “’Tude.”  Nuts. This presented me with a dilemma – do I stay and help or do I leave because, well, I was almost out the door anyway?  I decided I’d use the time I needed anyway to put on my boots and coat to decide.

Exactly how the next two minutes unfolded, I don’t know for sure; but I have a pretty good idea.  I heard Ella’s loud, biting “no’s” surely in response to Dan’s attempts to remain patient and encourage her to try to get dressed herself (or with a little help).  Every “no” from Ella surely strengthened Dan’s resolve to make her get dressed herself.  The two minutes concluded with Dan announcing that if she didn’t get herself dressed, she’d just go to school like “that.”

We’ve threatened and used this before.  A couple of weeks ago, Ella didn’t comply with our repeated asks to retrieve her shoes from the shoe basket, choosing to whine about it and insist she “can’t do it” instead.  The standoff ended with Dan informing her she’d go to school without shoes, Ella once again saying she just couldn’t get her shoes and me carrying her, shoeless and screaming, out the door and off to school.   Just last week I cleared it with her teacher that we could send her to school in her pajamas if she didn’t cooperate with getting dressed.  I thought today was the day that threat would be realized.

Upon hearing Dan’s threat this morning, I actually pictured Ella in her mismatched jammy top and bottoms and wished that she had chosen a better pair of jammies last night.  I mean, if she was going to go to school in her pajamas, couldn’t they at least be a good pair?

Dan darted down the stairs, muttering frustrated sentiments that ended with, “and poor Mommy was almost out the door without having to deal with this.”  He was right, and I wished I was already gone.

Ella continued crying and whining and insisting that Daddy come back and help her, which, of course, he wasn’t going to do.  As she did so, I still hadn’t decided exactly what to do – stick around or leave Dan to the madness.  I stood at the base of the stairs with my boots and coat on and my backpack at my feet.  And then Ella emerged on the landing of the stairs in full view, still crying and whining and calling for Daddy.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her… naked… naked as a jaybird… except for the pair of socks she wore to bed last night.

Dan's threat that she'd just go to school like "that" became funny... hilarious, really.  I don't know how long he would have let it go had I not been there, nor do I know exactly how he would have sent her to school.  Clearly, like "that" (naked) wasn't a viable option, which he actually told her by saying that he'd probably get arrested if he did.

I asked both of them if they wanted my help. Dan said it was up to me, and Ella turned down my offer with a direct, "NO! I want DADDY to help me!"

That's all I needed to hear.  "Okay," I said and started to make a move toward the door when Ella tried to take it all back.  "No, Mommy!  Can you help me get dressed?  Please?" she asked me.

And I did.  The unexpected sight of Ella in her birthday suit instead of her mismatched jammies lightened the mood.  At least for me, it did.  I think Dan was probably glad that he didn't have to come up with an alternative to sending her to school naked and still feel as though he had followed through on his threat.