Ella No Like That

The kids’ teachers preach that the kids use their words instead of their hands, teeth, other body parts or screams to express themselves.  If a friend says or does something they don’t like, they are to respond with an “I don’t like that, So-and-So” instead of a shove.  If they are having trouble putting their shoes on or zipping their coats, they are to respond with a calm, “please, help me” instead of throwing a screaming, unintelligible fit.  And we reinforce this at home, regularly insisting, “use your words, please.”

Except for a couple of slips, Cal’s always been pretty good about the proper use of the “I don’t like that” response to being wronged by someone either physically or verbally.  This is not to suggest he always uses it when he should – it’s just that when he has used it, it’s generally been in the right context.  Ella, on the other hand, has taken it to an extreme, using it not only when she was wronged but also when she just doesn’t like the options or the scenario presented to her, as in:

“I no like that, Daddy” in response to Dan suggesting that she eat the chicken nuggets and potatoes sitting on her dinner plate.

“I no like that, Mommy” in response to my pleas that she put her big-girl undies on after using the big-girl potty first thing in the morning.

“I no like that, Cal” in response to Cal thoughtfully handing her a book to read or another stuffed animal to take to school.

“I no like that, Zoe” in response to Zoe jumping up onto the end of the bed to lie down near her feet but not touching them.

And she says it so sternly, too, typically holding up her hand and bouncing it up and down with every word, a simple gesture that reinforces the fact that she “no like that.”  Five hand bounces with every “I no like that, So-and-So.”

While Ella’s overuse of “I no like that” amuses me to no end, I hope that it’s short-lived.  The proper response to Ella telling us that she “no like that” is for us to stop doing what she “no like,” which we do but only when we believe it’s appropriate.  The more she misuses it, the less she gets the response she wants.  And I don’t want this to translate into less use of “no like that” when it’s really warranted.