A Little Twist on the Bedtime Routine

It’s the same routine every night for Cal:

• Grab jammies and Underjam for bed
• Select clothes to wear the next morning and put them on (near) the stool
• Select two books to read before bed
• Get undressed (could be in Cal’s room, could be in Mommy’s and Daddy’s room)
• Take shower/bath in Mommy’s and Daddy’s room (Bath Night only)
• Put Underjam and jammies on
• Brush teeth
• Declare who’s putting whom to bed
• Return to room and sit on parent’s lap in rocking chair for books; read books
• Get up, turn off light, hop into bed
• Get kisses and good night message from parent
• Start sucking thumb
• Call for Mommy because there’s something important to say; make something up and tell Mommy that made-up important thing
• Start sucking thumb again
• Fall asleep

The bedtime routine is typically kicked off by Dan or me with some sort of announcement that it’s bath or bedtime; and from there it’s an exercise in patience and motivation on Dan’s and my part.  While Cal knows the routine fairly well, he rarely stays focused on seeing it all the way through.  In between each of the steps, it’s not uncommon for him to be darting from room to room, hiding in corners, jumping on beds, etc, entertaining Ella and inciting her to join in his unfocused ruckus.  So each of the bedtime steps is typically prefaced with a reminder to execute the step (as in, “Cal, put your Underjam and jammies on”) or a threat should the step not be started in 3 seconds (as in, “If you’re not putting your Underjam and jammies on by the time I count to 3, you’re down to one book for the night”).

Last night was no different than usual only up until the read-books part.  I was the put-Cal-to-bed parent, which has gotten much easier since we added the selecting of the two books as an early step in the bedtime routine.  Before that change, I found that when I put him to bed, book selection took a while, sometimes because he was wishy-washy but most often because he was just plain ornery.  At any rate, the books were waiting for us when we got to the rocking chair after Cal brushed his teeth and declared I would put him to bed.

Cal’s funny about books.  Sometimes, he’s really random with his book selection and changes it up from one day to the next.  Other times, we find ourselves reading the same two books to him several days in a row.  This week, Eric Carle’s “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?” and “Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?” have been his books of choice.

Instead of waiting for me to plop myself onto the rocking chair, handing me the two books to read and then having me pull him up onto my lap, Cal grabbed the books and plopped himself onto the rocking chair and then announced he’d start reading “Brown Bear, Brown Bear.” I went along and pretended to be him, plopping myself onto his lap (holding my weight up with my arms on the chair arms).  Without skipping a beat, he started “reading” the book, "Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?  I see a <pause> red bird looking at me."  I thought to myself, I can’t hold myself up like this for the whole book, so I pulled the pillow of his bed and lay down on the floor in front of the chair to listen.

He “read” the whole book aloud, using the pictures to assist him with the story.  He then transitioned to reading “Polar Bear,” which was a little tougher to “read” through pictures because you have to know (or remember) the sound that each of the animals makes… or, at least the sound that Eric Carle says each makes (for example, hippos “snort,” zebras “bray” and flamingo’s “flute”).  So that one had a few restarts and stumbles to get through it.  But he did and then jumped out of the chair to turn off the light before climbing into bed.

I figured we’d get back to the final steps of the bedtime routine at this point; but instead, I found myself following his lead.  The steps were the same; however, the roles were reversed.  As soon as he turned off the light, he bounced over to me still on the floor, leaned over, kissed me goodnight and then proceeded to walk toward and out his door, saying “I love you” as he did so.  He then went to our bedroom (which is next to his), turned on the light and hung out there for a minute or two, doing what, I’m not sure.

Figuring he’d probably come back soon, I decided to turn this into a little game.  I got up and carefully lay down in his bed (which is still a toddler bed with the same mattress we used in his crib).  Thoughts of falling through it crossed my mind but didn't stop me from doing this.  I then proceeded to suck my left thumb.

Cal emerged from our bedroom, looked downstairs into the living room, realized he hadn’t put his toys away, went downstairs and announced to Dan that he needed put them away.  I’m not sure exactly how that conversation went, but Dan successfully talked him out of it; and Cal headed back upstairs.  When he reached the top, I called for him as he would for me, “Cal!”

Cal came to me and, fully ignoring the odd and (I thought) amusing fact that I was lying in his bed and sucking my thumb, leaned over me and asked, “What are you going to dream about tonight?"

I answered, “the white school bus.”  (Cal’s been dreaming about the white school bus that sits outside of his school for a good couple of years now.)

With that, he leaned over and kissed me goodnight and then left the bedroom once again, declaring “I love you” as he exited.

The way Cal was carrying this out as if it were normal, I think he was in it for the long haul, meaning, he was prepared to let our fun charade go on all night.  Had I not gotten up out of his bed to switch back to our normal roles, Cal probably would have crawled into our bed, turned on the TV and fallen asleep at some point.  And I may have fallen asleep in his bed to awaken a couple of hours later on a mattress that had fallen through the springs built to hold a toddler's weight.

Cal cooperated fully once I declared the "switch" over.  He crawled into bed... I told him I love him and I'm proud of him... I asked him what he was going to dream about, and he answered, "the white school bus"... I then kissed him and told him to have big dreams and get lots of sleep because he's going to change the world... and as I left the room I said, "I love you" (with words and sign language -- it's so automatic now).  He then sucked his thumb as he fell asleep; and I then went to my room, turned on the TV and lay down in bed to watch it for a few minutes before going downstairs to work a bit.  It was a fairly normal end to a routine that had been interrupted by a little fun.