Cal's Markers

I’m fairly certain that if I asked my mom, she’d tell me that I never had to be told not to draw on furniture or walls with my crayons, markers or paint.  I was born either with the gene that masks any desire to do that or with the one that makes me question myself (and answer correctly) upon any urge to do so.  Dan has one of those genes, too.  It is just in our blood to take care of our stuff.

With visible marks on their kid-sized table and chairs and on our couch and kitchen table, all made in Dan’s and my absence, Dan and I know that neither of our kids has either of those genes.  This saddens us and also presents some parenting and, let’s face it, coping challenges as we fumble our way through teaching our kids the boundaries with this and finding the right consequences when those boundaries are crossed.

Cal got a Crayola art set for Christmas.  A thoughtful gift just perfect for our artistic Cal, this set comes with crayons, colored pencils, markers, watercolor paint, scissors, glue and a pad of construction paper, all packaged up in a carrying case that very practically converts to a lap pad or easel.  We broke this art set out over the weekend.

Now, Cal is 4 years old.  Ella is not yet 2.  We know Cal can responsibly handle a marker as shown by his drawings on his dry-erase board.  We also know that Ella cannot responsibly handle a marker as shown by her sloppy attempts to draw supposedly on Cal’s dry-erase board.  Ella lands the markers more on her body and things around the dry-erase board than she does actually on the dry-erase board.

Having spent the better part of our holidays coloring with crayons (look for a post later this week!), Cal was really interested in using the markers and scissors to introduce some variety into his artwork.  Having spent nearly the same amount of time with Cal coloring, I knew that Ella, equally as interested in using the markers and scissors, could not be trusted even for a second with a marker. Too many times during our coloring sessions I witnessed her deliberately crayoning our kitchen table.  That on top of her aforementioned ineptitude with the dry-erase markers was a red flag as far as her use of Cal’s new markers was to go.

So I gave Cal very explicit instructions if he was to use the markers.  It went something like this:

Me: “Okay, you can use these markers, but you can ONLY draw on the paper. DON’T draw on the table.  DON’T draw on the walls.  DON’T draw on the carpet.  ONLY draw on the paper.  Do you understand?”

Cal <eyes looking at the paper on which he was to draw>: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, what did I just tell you?”

Cal: “Only draw on the paper.”

Me:  “That’s right.  Markers only on the paper, nothing else."

Doh, he might want to use his new markers on the dry-erase board!

Me: “Okay, Cal, you also can’t use these markers on your whiteboard-easel in the computer room. You can ONLY use the special markers that have “Expo” with a big “E” on them.”

Cal: <no reaction>

Me: “That’s a tough one.  Just don’t use these markers on your whiteboard.”

Hmm… What do I do about the little girl who absolutely can’t be trusted?

Me: “Okay, last thing, Cal – DO NOT LET ELLA HAVE ANY MARKERS.  IF SHE GRABS ONE, JUST LET ME KNOW RIGHT AWAY.”

Cal: <tongue sticking out of his mouth as he was already using the markers, showing no signs of paying attention to me>

Me: “Cal, did you hear me? What did I just say?”

Cal: “Don’t let Ella use the markers.”

Me: “That’s right.  If she grabs one, don’t just take it from her – call me right away. <Now turning my attention to Ella, putting a placemat under her paper in a feeble attempt to mitigate the risk of having my kitchen table altered any further> Okay, Ya Ya, NO MARKERS FOR YOU.  YOU CAN USE CRAYONS.  AND ONLY COLOR ON PAPER, NOT THE TABLE.”

Ella proceeded to scribble on the paper in front of her and then on the placemat.  I interceded a few times to reset her course of action and get her back to “coloring” on the paper.

They stayed at the kitchen table for a bit and then moved to the computer/toy room where they picked up the coloring again.  I reiterated the instructions I had already given them, adding that they were not to draw on the desk, either.  I put a lot of responsibility on Cal to actually see my instructions through.  I had zero expectation that Ella would comply.

Using the best of my poor judgment, I left the toy/computer room for a few minutes (maybe longer than “a few”) to get some cleaning and picking-up done.  With no sounds coming from the room where the kids were supposedly drawing, I thought this can’t be good and eventually made my way back to the room to check in on them.  The scene to which I returned was both frustrating and secretly entertaining.  The scene to which I returned was Cal coloring a willing Ella’s cheek with his new black marker.  Standing in front of him and leaning toward him with a big grin on her face, she already had a big black rectangle colored on the outside of her bicep.  Clearly I had been gone too long.

I don’t remember how the exchange with the two of them went.  I’m sure it involved some scolding and various forms of “didn’t I tell you not do to this?!  What are you thinking?!”  All I remember is snatching Ella from the room and hauling her upstairs for marker removal, which surprisingly went much better than I had expected.

The kids then got distracted by other toys and role playing.  This kept them away from the markers for a bit of time, but then they got back to drawing.  I had the same exchange with them as I did earlier where the general theme was that they were to ONLY draw on paper and that Ella was NOT to touch the markers.  Cal stayed at it, coloring in the computer/toy room, for awhile; Ella took up something else entirely.

I was in and out of the computer/toy room as he colored.  At one point, I returned to do some things on our new laptop.  When I did so, Cal was contently coloring at the kids’ table.  How sweet.  I sat down at the computer desk, and as my hands approached the keyboard, I was utterly shocked at what I saw in front of me.  It was awful.  It was unexplainable.  It took my breath away.  Our new laptop had orange marks all over it.  There was an orange square pretty well drawn on the bottom right side of the laptop keyboard.  I looked just above it and saw that the SHIFT, ENTER and up/down/left/right arrows were colored orange.  And then on the laptop’s mouse pad I read the words in order of appearance “ELLA LOVE CAL MOMMY DADDY,” also in orange.

Our new laptop had been marked up pretty well by our poor decision maker, Cal.  Clearly he didn’t ask himself if he should be coloring the laptop.  Or if he did, clearly he answered his question of himself incorrectly.

I immediately ran to get a wipe to remove the orange markings and returned with the whole pack.  I started with the orange square and, to my surprise, it wiped off pretty cleanly.  I moved to the mouse pad, and it, too, cleaned up pretty well, as did the various keys with orange on them.

The markers were labeled “washable,” which, thankfully, means that any markings made by the kiddos can be washed and wiped away as if they were never made.  Nice… I hope Cal doesn’t figure that out I thought to myself.

A consequence of Cal’s drawing on our laptop was that we took the markers away for 45 minutes or so.  Simply, we told him that he needed a break from them, which he didn’t take too well and insisted repeatedly during those 45 minutes that we give them back.  We did not.  Perhaps the more effective consequence was that Cal had witnessed my reaction to the evidence of his markering of our laptop.  It was dramatic, it involved some yelling and fiery eyes and it was certainly more expressive than I usually am.  Most of this was sincere and out of my control; however, some of it was deliberate.  I wanted Cal to be a little scared and very uncomfortable.  He was.

In the end, Dan and I concluded that we need to find an out-of-reach location for our laptop (and other at-risk important stuff).  No more just leaving it out on the desk.  We haven’t done anything about this just yet; but before any markers come out again, we will.