My Mini Me

I opened the door to the garage on my forehead this past Monday morning during my scramble to get out of the house.  It's really one of those things that you want to keep to yourself.  I mean, it's not like I chose to do it.  "You know, I haven't had a good headache in awhile... I'm going to open this door so it bangs my forehead really hard." Really, I generally don't like to admit I do sloppy, careless things like this.  I have enough flaws that others see; why should I tell them I actually have more? I share it because it highlighted some synergy Ella and I have had recently -- 12 hours earlier Ella did essentially the same thing when she stepped out of my in-laws' house and immediately turned left only to have the storm door which she had pushed open slam into her forehead.  I saw it.  I heard it.  I even felt it.  She cried.  I held her.  I cried when that similar thing happened to me on Monday.  And I know she would've given me a hug had she been around to witness it.

My mini me and me

Ella and I are close.  As much as we bump heads (in the figurative sense) and as much as she wears pinks, purples and tutus and I, well, I just don't and never have, we are very alike and actually seem to enjoy each other's company these days.  I say "seem to" because if there's one thing I've learned as a parent it's that any peace and balance we may be enjoying at the moment could turn on a dime.  Even if it were to turn, this does not change: Ella is my mini me and I her mega me.

As I write this, Ella is organizing the DVDs.  I didn't ask her to do so, she just did.  I'm sure my mom has a memory of me doing this when I was Ella's age, with books instead of with DVDs.

Besides inadvertently banging our heads on doors and sharing an appreciation... strike that... a need to organize things, here's how we're images of each other and/or enjoy being with each other:

We both enjoy gardening and digging in dirt.  Ella is always a willing participant in my gardening activities. Actually, I should call it "our" gardening activities.  She helps me plant, helps me water, helps me weed and helps me reap veggies from the garden.

Ella shovelling mulch

Last weekend, we had a big mound of mulch delivered to the end of our driveway.  I had a 3-hour window before I knew we had to leave for Dan's parents' house; and I chose to use that time making a dent in the pile and moving it to its proper place in our yard.  And whom did I ask to help me?  My mini me, of course.  And, as any good mini me would respond, she said she wanted to help me.

Ella filling my wheelbarrow

So we headed out to the mound, me with my wheelbarrow and shovel, she with her pink Minnie wagon and snow shovel; and we worked for a couple of solid hours shoveling, wheeling and spreading mulch.  She needed only a little direction early on and even worked independently when I took a break from spreading mulch to transplant a few lillies.

I loved sharing this time with Ella, teaching her how to do something new, encouraging her to enjoy this "chore" and not dread it and influencing her simply to enjoy being outside.

We do girl things together.  I have to admit, I like having a daughter with whom to share the stereotypical "girl things," like painting our toenails, shopping and baby showers.  It's been awhile, but we've been known to have matching painted toenails, sometimes even patterned where every other toe is pink and the ones in between are purple.  If anyone thinks this is my influence, it's not -- it's I being her mega me.  Ordinarily, I'd opt for a single, certainly non-purple color; if my following her lead with her whimsical toenail painting makes her happy, I'm game.

Ella never passes on an opportunity to go shopping with me.  That she is with me on my shopping trips is nothing short of a miracle given the many struggles we've survived on said shopping trips, maddening experiences that led to many threats that I'd never take her shopping with me again.  Unfulfilled threats.  It's not that I enjoy the fights -- I just enjoy her company when we're not fighting.  She's a good helper, and I like giving her responsibilities and choices as we shop.  And the thing is, she does well.  She chooses well.  She chooses things that I would choose myself.

Sporting our pony braids

The best is responding "2" for baby showers to which I have been invited, where she and I are the "2."  She's pretty good company for these things which I typically find, and I'm sorry girlfriends and family, painful, the explanation for which is an entirely different topic.  But it's nice to have Ella's company.  The last two showers to which we've gone, I made it a point to dress similarly.  For the first, we were wearing the same colors -- black and bright pink (yes... yes, I do have some pink clothes).  For this latest one, she was already sporting a pony braid, so I chose to wear a pony braid myself.  Many people asked me about it (I don't typically wear a pony braid), and it was fun telling them how it came about.

Ella's strawberries

We are artistic and take our time with our art.  I've done my share of drawing and painting in my lifetime.  I've got some skills and am very careful and slow about my art. I'm not sure if that's because it's not entirely natural or if it's that I'm a perfectionist. Whatever the explanation, I see similar traits in Ella.  She carefully colored the strawberries in a big coloring page over the course of a week.  She started with one or two on a Sunday and then proceeded to come back to it when she had the time and inclination.  She knocked a few more strawberries out before leaving for school a few days that week and revisited the coloring a time or two in the evenings before heading to bed.

And there's nothing sloppy about her coloring job.  She stayed within the lines.  She even colored the strawberry seeds black and the strawberry stems green.  She also colored a couple of the flowers and leaves. In the end, the page itself wasn't entirely finished; but the strawberries sure were!

Interest in gardening, sharing girl things, approach to art.  These are just a handful of things that Ella and I have in common and enjoy sharing.  There are more.  This makes me happy and proud.  I enjoy having my mini me with me as I do these things.

Ella helped me fix dinner tonight.  I had already gotten most of it going by the time she asked if she could help, so I gave her the job of setting the table.  She's a good table setter, doing everything from getting plates and forks to filling our cups with beverages to even making sure that we have lime juice (she thought it was lemon) to squeeze on our fish.  At one point, she had to get both the butter and cups on the table; and instead of taking the cups first and then coming back for the butter, she carefully balanced the cups on the container of butter and carried them together.  If I had a nickel for every time I carried more than my hands could technically hold for the sake of minimizing trips... Needless to say, without giving it a second thought, my mini me was doing what her mega me would've done under the same circumstances.