At Last, We Skated

It finally happened.  Months (I dunno, maybe even years now) after the seed was planted to make a trip to the local roller rink for some roller skating/blading, we finally made it there... well, two of us did, anyway.  And it was pretty excellent -- lucky for me, I was one of the two who made it.

I lived in my roller skates for a few years as a kid.  I would never claim to be super skilled and know what I was doing; but I was serviceable.  During trips to Main Street USA, the local rink that was operational during a part of my childhood, I was skilled enough to be on the rink for all varieties of skates -- counterclockwise all skates, backward skates, clockwise reverse skates and couples skates.  I doubt I ever joined a skating race for fear I wouldn't do well; frankly, I don't remember those ever happening.

When I wasn't at Main Street USA skating, I was skating around our neighborhood in my white skates with orange wheels.  I even had light blue and pink yarn balls looped through my laces -- fancy, I know.  It wasn't uncommon to see me servicing my paper route on my skates with that monster-sized newspaper bag strapped around my body. I remember pretending to be in a band, complete with tennis rackets for guitars and buckets for drums, where I was wearing, yes, my roller skates.  I even climbed the oak tree in the front of our house on Eureka in my roller skates.

It's been many years since I last skated, but it was so much a part of a few years of my childhood that I can easily recall how much fun I had in my skates.  That it took me so long to get Cal over to the skating rink near our home is surprising and disappointing and can only be explained by either being too busy or too lazy... or a little of both. 

Dan and I had the day off from work and Cal the day off from school in recognition of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday.  (I learned later that Ella's school actually was open.)  We decided yesterday that we'd take the kids to the local rink this afternoon for a nice family outing.  Unfortunately, Ella woke up crying early this morning with an earache which was initially soothed by some Tylenol but that came screaming back just before we were going to leave.  So instead of the roller rink, Ella and Dan stayed home to rest before her doctor's appointment to confirm her ear infection.  But Cal and I still went.

So I'd never been there (Cal had).  I really didn't spend my time thinking about what it would look or feel like; so when I pulled into the lot full of SUVs and vans and saw the plainest of buildings lacking any updates in the past 30 years, I really wasn't surprised.

My expectations of the inside were immediately set to match the outside, and they were met.  To get in to the rink, we had to first pay a man sitting behind the window situated between the doors to the outside and those to the inside.  I told him it was my first time there and didn't know what I was doing.  He asked me if we both needed skates, which we did, and then told me it'd be $20.  "Do you take Discover?" I asked.  "We do," he replied.  This was surprising to me -- I fully expected to have to pay cash by the looks of things.

He instructed me to turn right once inside the doors to pick up our skates.  I am nothing if not a good instruction follower.  Five minutes later, Cal was wearing rollerblades... oh, sorry, inline skates, and I was wearing some traditional roller skates, nothing like my white skates with orange wheels and light blue and pink tassels.  These things were probably as old as the rink itself.

I wouldn't say I was worried about skating, but I did wonder how natural I'd be in these things.  Turns out, it's much like riding a bike.  I also wondered how much I'd need to help Cal.  He had gone skating with school a couple of times; but I had never seen him skate, so I didn't know what to expect.  He wasn't tentative at all and rolled right on to the rink. where he spent the bulk of his time looping around the lane closest to the center oval (other than the oval itself).  He wasn't completely sure of himself, but he wasn't shy about skating.  He managed to stay on his feet most of the time, a few times with some good saves, and fell only a handful of times.  Frankly, I fully expected to be back at the skate rental window exchanging the inline skates for the four-wheeled variety after our first trip around the rink.  But that never happened.

Time and time again we rolled around the rink.  Sometimes I was behind or next to him, other times I was trying to lap him only because I got ahead of him too much to hold myself back.  I read his cues and kept my distance -- I don't think he felt like he needed me or wanted me to necessarily be near.  He wanted to be alone.  I really didn't mind that because it gave me a chance to be on my own, too.  I had forgotten how calming and soothing rollerskating can be, even among all of the people with constant stimulation and constant dodging of the reckless or those unsure of themselves.

Though most of our time there was spent "all-skating," there were a few breaks to change things up.  Once we found ourselves circled around Will and Michaela to help them celebrate their birthdays.  Another time, we found ourselves trying to skate backwards.  And then there were the races.

When I heard the announcement that there'd be races, I turned to Cal to tell him that we needed to get off the rink because they were setting up for these races.  I had no intention of joining and assumed Cal wouldn't either.  But then, bless his heart, he said, "Mommy, I wonder if I'm the fastest."

He wanted to race and actually thought he could win.  I know my kids are not lacking in confidence, and normally this works for them; this time, I didn't know if it was a good perspective.  I really didn't know what to do -- encourage him to get out there and race and just do his best or protect his feelings and drill into him the reality that he probably wouldn't even come close to winning and might even finish last?  Without thinking, I kind of chose both.  I initially responded to him, "well, Cal, I don't think that you're the fastest" and just left it for him to interpret that however he wanted.  When it came time for the inline skaters to race, I let him decide if he wanted to do it or not.  Without batting an eye or uttering a word, he headed out onto the rink.

And you know, I wasn't worried.  I wasn't hurting for him.  I wasn't hoping that he just wouldn't fall.  I wasn't hoping that he'd just not finish last.  I wasn't hoping that he'd just finish.  I knew he'd finish last, and it didn't matter -- he was participating because he chose to participate.  Who am I to tell him not to?  Who am I to tell him how he'd feel? Who am I to deny him an opportunity to try and fail... or, better, try and have fun trying? I was so proud of him.

I watched him skate awkardly to the starting line and awkwardly stop once he got there. And then I recorded the race.  He was the last off the line.  He fell early.  He dropped back farther and farther behind as the race went on.  He finshed last among ten, maybe more kids who participated.  He technically didn't finish it, I think only because he had been forgotten or maybe even because he didn't know what the finish was.

Off the rink, he rolled himself down to me.  He was smiling, clearly okay with the race results.  I couldn't not have loved him more or been more proud of him at that moment, and I told him so.

And then we got back on the rink for an all-skate and continued to skate until it was time to leave.  With our skates returned and our shoes on, we headed to get our coats and he told me, "Mommy, I finished fourth.  I was so close."  Hmm... fourth?

I still think I might have some work to do on his expectations and perspectives, but he's still young; so I'm going to let this play out for a bit.  As long as he keeps trying and isn't destroyed by not winning, I think he'll figure things out.  I think.  This is yet another parenting thing that I'm making up.  I really have no clue what the right thing to do with this is.  I'm good with this approach for now.

And I'm good with that roller rink -- can't wait to get back!