Cal Wore His New Backpack Today

It was my turn to put Cal to bed last night.  It wasn’t easy getting the kids to focus on getting up the stairs, showered and jammied with their teeth brushed; and Cal came close to losing his pre-bedtime book privileges a few times.  I’m really not sure how he managed to keep them – it probably had something to do with my being a softie for that kid.

He selected his “Big Cats” book, which I love to read to him.  It’s full of interesting facts about, yes, cats.  The cheetah can go from 0 to 70 mph in 3 seconds, faster than any sports car can do.  The panther is really a black leopard.  Female lions do most of the hunting for food.  The tiger is the largest cat.  There is actually a cat species who likes water.  And so on.

Before I read it to him, I decided to take advantage of him lying calmly next to me and ready to listen to my words and give him a few things to think about relative to his and Ella’s behavior of late in our house.  I told him directly that it has to get better.  I told him every response to mine and Dan’s questions or requests just cannot be a defiant “NO!” or blatant ignorance.  I told him that when he does that, he is disrespecting us, his parents.  And I told him that he’s also teaching Ella to do the same, that she’s learning it from him.  I acknowledged that he’s a kid and that’s what kids do; but not all the time.  He seemed to be listening.

After laying those thoughts on him and still feeling like I had his attention, I took a breath and switched gears.  I’m sure the books would say I delivered mixed messages, but his first day of public school kindergarten was only a couple of days away; and I wanted to be sure that he knew how exciting it is that he’s going to a new school and on the verge of learning and experiencing many new things and meeting many new people.  And I topped it off with a “you’re gonna nail it, Cal.”  He will.

A few days ago, we went to Kohl’s and bought a new backpack for him for the school year.  “I want one just like yours,” he had told me many times since we first mentioned getting a new one a month or so ago.  This was music to my ears – I wouldn’t have to cave and reluctantly say “yes” to yet another cheap, character backpack and then be reminded of it every time I zippered it throughout the year.  We bought a nice, multi-pocketed backpack – Cal’s choice – that even I would use.

I would call this backpack the manifestation of Cal’s excitement over going to public school.  If it weren’t for the backpack, we wouldn’t be able to gauge whether he was excited or not.  He’s just not talking about it much otherwise unless we bring it up; and even then his participation in the discussion is just enough to appease us.

The sound of a door closing finally got me out of bed this morning.  I had already snoozed via my alarm clock several times, so I was due to get up anyway.  I peeked out into the hallway to see Cal’s bedroom door closed.  He was awake.  I climbed into the shower and then went about my morning routine without a peep from or a showing of the kid.  Finally ready to head downstairs and make my way out the door, I noticed that Cal’s door was open and his bedroom light on; but he wasn’t in his room.  I turned off his light and started to walk downstairs.

When I made the turn halfway down the stairs, I saw Cal standing quietly at the base of them.  He had on a t-shirt and mesh shorts, his signature outfit.  His black socks were stretched half way up his legs, which is as far as they could possibly go; and his feet were nestled comfortably in his camouflage green Crocs.  And on his back was his new backpack.

My heart melted with the sight of him.

“Can I use my new backpack today, Mommy?” he asked.  “I’m wearing my new Lego shirt,” he continued, pointing to his t-shirt.  “I wanted to wear this to Colin’s birthday party yesterday because he likes Star Wars Legos, but I didn’t.”  And then he rattled off a few more comments as I put my hands on either side of his face, drew it close to mine and gave him a big kiss on his forehead.

“Yes! You can use your backpack today, Baby Bear,” I told him.  “Do you want me to take you to school now?” I asked.  He did.  It was a work-from-home day for Dan, so the plan was really for Dan to take the kids to school (daycare); but the kid was ready, and I didn’t want to make him wait.  I’d catch a later train, which would be my usual train in anyway.

Ella got wind that I was leaving with Cal and expressed how sad she was about this through and tears and sad words delivered through a pout with a bottom lip almost hitting the floor. Dan couldn't get her dressed fast enough; and the next thing I knew, I was taking both kids to school on his work-from-home day.  Somehow, I enjoyed every minute of it.  I think it was the image of Cal proudly marching around with that backpack strapped to his back, his tell that he really is excited to be finally going to public school kindergarten.