Cal's Second Swimming Lesson

The scene has been burned into my memory.  It’s not a pleasant scene, nor is it one that I want to re-live but fully expect to.  In this scene, I am handing a kicking, screaming, tearful, swimsuit-clad Cal off to his swimming instructor for the last 15 minutes of his swimming lesson (we had already lost 15 minutes attempting to coax him into the pool verbally).  The scene moves forward, and Cal is now being dragged by his instructor back and forth across the water in their swimming lane -- 6 to 8 feet of Hell per "lap" for Cal.  Tears still streaming down his face, he is pleading to stop and get out of the water.  The words “I don’t want to!” and “Mommy!” are projecting throughout the swimming pool area for everyone to hear, for everyone to seek out the source and for everyone to sympathize… with Cal, with me and with the little girl who was sharing the lesson with Cal.

I know how I felt, and I’m sure that everyone could see it in my face and body language.  Not embarrassed by any means, I was THAT mom who wasn’t helping her kid despite his repeated pleas that I do so.  Sitting on a bench maybe 6 feet from the edge of the pool where my kid was suffering, the practical, common sense part of my brain repeatedly told the instinctive part of my brain to stay put.  He needs to do this.  He needs to be comfortable in the water and learn some swimming basics for his own good.  The occasional screw his own good, no one should suffer like this flashed through my head and was always quickly quieted by he needs to learn how to swim.

He talks a good game, that Cal.  Not two hours earlier, he interjected himself into a phone conversation Ella was having with Grandma (I’d recap it if I could decipher what it was she – Ella – was talking about) and told Grandma something to the effect of he was going to his swimming lesson that day, he was going to be brave, he was going to learn how to swim, etc… nothing that would suggest that we’d have to fight through his ridiculous resistance to even sitting on the side of the pool with his feet in the water.

As he yelled, “Mommy!,” I heard, “Mommy, save me!”  And I didn’t.  I didn’t save him.  I watched him suffer, and I suffered, too.  And as we both suffered, the thought that he might remember that I was the one who didn’t save him landed in my mind.  And this made the situation even more painful.  Not only was I THAT mom who didn’t help her kid, I was also THAT mom whose kid knew that she didn’t help him.

Eventually, with maybe 5 minutes left in his lesson Cal settled down.  Not screaming or crying anymore, he cooperated, frowning and miserable the whole time, with things like trying to relax as his instructor helped him float on his back or submerging his mouth and nose in the water.  Nary a smile hit his face as he did this – bless his heart, I think he just figured out that he needed to suck it up and just get through the lesson.

Deep down, I know that by not helping him that day I actually helped him.  I can look into his future knowing my past and make decisions for him that aren’t popular at the time but that set him up for success and happiness in the future.  I want him to be comfortable and safe frolicking in a swimming pool with his friends and/or cousins at parties and gatherings.  I want him to be able to relax and keep himself safe should he find himself in trouble on a lake.  I want him to not need Mommy or Daddy to be in the pool with him, holding him (for everyone's own good).

We have a long and, I believe, painful way to go.  I think Cal, his swimming instructor and little swimming partner would agree.

Happy Birthday Dear...

Ella knows the birthday song pretty well.  Afterall, she had been singing it frequently since Cal’s birthday in early December – to him that day and to many others after that and leading up to her own.  In some cases, she’d sing it only once to the birthday person, whether on the phone or in person; and in a few cases, she’d sing it leading up to and well after the person’s birthday.  Her friend, Aryn, whose birthday was in late January, was Ella’s most popular target – “… happy BIR-day dear ARYN…” she sang often, even when Aryn wasn’t around and even weeks after Aryn’s birthday party which triggered it.

It’s really sweet when she sings it, too.  She doesn’t belt out the words – she shyly sings them in her little Ella voice, a grin on her face the whole time.

The kids’ cousin, Jimmy Jimmy, had a swimming party for his birthday on a Saturday late in February.  Dan had to work that day, so the kids and I went without him.  The kids “swam” (i.e. clung to me in the water) for a bit; and then we got dressed and headed to the cafeteria where there were snacks, pizza and treats for everyone to enjoy.  Typical of most parties, we sang to the birthday boy, and Ella participated in that.

Once settled into the car and heading home, Cal and I heard Ella singing the birthday song once again.  Shy and sweet, she sang every word: “Happy bir-day to you, happy bir-day to you…” and then the best part: “… happy BIR-day dear… <pause>… PEOPLE…”

Cal and I cracked up immediately.  Happy birthday dear people?  People?  Where’d she get that one?  Too funny!  Ella joined in our laughter; and then Cal reinforced things and sang himself:  “… happy BIRTHday dear PEOPLE…” BAAAAAAHAHAHHHHHH!  We kept laughing and singing this as we made our way home.

Clearly funny at the time, this little bit of Ella’s made a lasting impression on Cal.  As much as he can make her laugh with his goofy faces at the dinner table or by peeking on either side of her from behind as she sits in her chair, Ella’s “happy bir-day dear people” makes Cal laugh, whether she sings it, I sing it or, most often, he sings it.

You're Gonna be a What?!?!!!

Dan and I both have baseball in our blood.  My scientist friends would dispute this, but I’m fairly certain the nucleus of many of our blood cells is actually a baseball (with the full functionality of a “normal” nucleus, of course).

Like most boys, Dan played Little League ball and for his high school team.  Like many, he went on to play college ball for St. Xavier and Notre Dame.  And like few, he played for a couple of years of single A ball with the Twins organization.  He’s a good player with mad defensive skills (his career defensive stats as a first baseman at ND played a big role in my calling him after we first met).  He’s also been an instructor and a coach, loves the game, and knows what he’s talking about.

As for me, I played Little League softball, high school softball, a couple of years of travelling softball (before travelling softball was a must-do) and then four years of college softball with Augustana and Valparaiso.  Despite declaring in my youth I’d never play slow-pitch softball, I played on many co-ed social club slow-pitch softball teams… championship teams.  I grew up (and still am) a White Sox fan, and one of my favorite things to do is to sit in the stands at a baseball game (any game), appreciating the little things in the game and not just the home runs and strikeouts.

So it would come as no surprise that Dan and I know that our kids are going to also love baseball and are going to play the game.  Really, the kids can be anything they want to be; but Cal’s going to want to be a baseball player, and Ella is going to want to be a baseball or softball player for sure.  And they’re going to be good – really good.  That’s the plan towards which we’re influencing them, anyway.  We already have countless hours invested into driveway baseball (drawing a mini diamond on our driveway and hitting a whiffle ball with a whiffle bat), backyard batting sessions (also with a whiffle ball and bat) and many fights through “I can’t do it”/”yes, you can – keep trying” and “you’re not pitching it right”/”not every pitch is going to be perfect –don’t swing at the bad ones.”

Sure, Cal, a right hander, still steps with his right foot when he throws; but he throws it far.  And, sure, he catches the ball like I remember my sister doing, arms stiff and stretched straight out in front of him; but that’s to be expected at 4.  And the kid, a natural lefty batter, already has a sweet swing and can hit a line drive off of a pitched ball pretty consistently.

So Dan and I have our hearts set on Cal being good enough to be a first-round, big-contract baseball player – not that we really expect it… but, kind of, we do. Usually, Cal doesn’t say much when Dan lays out this expectation of him; but a couple of days ago, we got a somewhat unsettling response to it during our general conversation in the car.  It went like this:

Dan: “Cal, next weekend, you’ll have THREE stay-at-home days in a row!”

Cal: “When will we have thirty-one hundred stay-at-home days in a row?” <He loves that number… uses it all the time>

Dan: “When you’re a first-round draft pick and you can take care of Mommy and Daddy.”

Cal: “Actually, I’m gonna be a teacher.”

We laughed it off but deep inside know that this scenario (both respectable and disappointing) is possible.  We may need to up the exposure to baseball a bit as we encourage him to pursue his passions.  I think that’s fair.

Facebook Posts - December, 2012

Here are my Leatherkid-related Facebook posts from December, 2012. They are unedited and should generally be assumed to start with "Carla Reiter Leatherman..."

December was, of course, Cal's birthday month (my baby boy turned 4!), so that was my favorite "event" of the month.  I especially got a kick out of revisiting the post from December 12th -- Ella, our little "wiper"... so funny! But my favorite post HAS to be the "crown" one on December 31st.  I remember vividly that crown and how excited Cal was to make it for me just before I left for a wake.

December 5, 2012
went in to wake Ella up this AM and had this convo with her:
Me: "Good morning, Ya Ya. It's time to get up.
Ella: <just rolled over>
Me: "Do you feel okay?"
Ella: "Nyo."
Me: "What's wrong, Baby Girl?"
Ella: "Nye nye. Bye <as she waved to me, her head turned toward the wall>

December 10, 2012
Our birthday boy, Cal, enjoyed a train ride with his little sister, Ella, at Choo Choo Johnny's tonight.

Ella and Cal on train at Choo Choo Johnny's

December 10, 2012
One thing I love about Cal is that I can make him this birthday cake and he totally thinks that it looks like Percy (friend of Thomas).

"Percy" cake I made for Cal's birthday


December 10, 2012
Cal, to his cousin, Nora, standing next to him as he opened the birthday gift from her and the the rest of the Guisingers yesterday: "Batteries... THANKS, NORA!!!" Classic.

December 13, 2012
wonders what the better approach is when she forgets to bring diapers to school: recognize it and hope they volunteer dipping into a just-in-case supply for the day OR ignore it and act surprised at my forgetfulness when reminded by the teacher? Either way, I'm a moron.

December 16, 2012
thinks Ella really wants me to drink this Fresca she brought to me... "Mommy's" she said proudly, bringing it to me the first time... "Thank you!" I replied and set it down... "Mommy's" she said, picking it up and handing it to me again... "Thank you!" I replied and set it down... and the cycle continued until she took it away and is now bringing TWO Frescas back.

December 16, 2012
Cal drawing a Rudolph picture.

 

December 16, 2012

Cal putting his birthday money into his bank account (with a little assistance from Daddy).

Cal & Dan at the ATM

December 16, 2012
Cal, earlier this evening when I asked him if he was eating a sucker: "It's not a sucker, it's a licker." And then he went on to explain how he doesn't suck on his suckers like Daddy does -- he licks them, which is why he calls them "lickers."

The kid has a point.

December 18, 2012
Imagine the scene I just witnessed... Ella emerging from the pantry with a napkin in hand... Cal on all fours on a kitchen chair... Ella pulling Cal's pants down to wipe his exposed butt with the napkin...

December 19, 2012
Methinks we need a new approach to giving Ella her antibiotic...

Ella, post antibiotic

December 22, 2012
I did my 2.6 mile run for Sandy Hook earlier today with my old running partner, Cal... and Koala Bear, Camel, Puppy and Ducky. We dropped Koala Bear twice and ran over Puppy once with the stroller, but we all made it back home in tact.

December 31, 2012
Ella from her car seat, immediately after sneezing: "Bless you, Ya Ya."

December 31, 2012
got some confirmation that she and Dan are doing something right with these kids when she heard Cal's voice from the "ceiling tube" in the play area at Chick-fil-a this afternoon: "Hey, Big Kid. Watch out for her. She's my sister." Of course, a minute later, I saw Cal push Ella, now blocking easy passage though a tube, aside with no notice.

December 31, 2012
The crown Cal made for me the other day when I was dressed "like a princess." He even added a bow and a note that read (in order of how he wrote it) "MOMMY FROM CAL."



My crown made by Cal

Leatherkid Dictionary - Take 1

On our way to drop the kids off at school yesterday morning, we were stopped by a school bus.  Kids were boarding it, so its stop sign was extended out from the side of the bus, indicating that any passing traffic should… well… stop and not pass.  Of course, we complied.

Cal made note of it – the “sign stop,” he calls it – and then recognized the same sign standing up out of the snow at the end of the street where we turn out of our subdivision.

From this the theme of this post was born – I’ll brain dump some Leatherkidisms and provide a brief definition for each.

Ampew: Ice cube (imagine how long it took me to figure that one out!). (Ella)

App juice: Apple juice. (Ella)

Bah: Zone bar (see S’mores and Whachamacallit – when Cal gets half, Ella gets the other half). (Ella)

Banna: Banana. (Ella)

Caow: Cal. (Ella)

Do it self: Execute the task without assistance (as in “Ya Ya do it self” or “Mommy do it self.”) (Ella)

Elbow: Elbow (included only to illustrate she can say the sound of the first syllable in her name). (Ella)

Fivedy: Fifty; only used when counting down from 100 by 10s. (Cal)

Kerie: Keira, Ella’s friend. (Ella)

Mouses: Mice. (Cal)

Onedy: Ten; only used when counting down from 100 by 10s. (Cal)

O-fer Day-yeh: Over there.  (Ella)

Pato: Potato. (Ella)

Raydits: Raisins. (Ella)

S’mores: Chocolate Fudge Zone bar (the first of two reward choices Cal is given in the morning if he  stayed in bed all night, woke up with a dry Underjam and didn’t suck his thumb; if he does two of the three things, he gets half of a S’mores). (Cal)

Sign stop: Stop sign.  (Cal)

Threedy: Thirty; only used when counting down from 100 by 10s. (Cal)

Tow: Snow. (Ella)

Turn off water?: Turn on the water in the bathtub? (Ella)

Twody: Twenty; only used when counting down from 100 by 10s. (Cal)

Wa-dat?: Accompanied by a pointed finger, inquiry into what something is (as in “what is that?”). (Ella)

Wa-diss?: Similar to “Wa Dat,” inquiry into what something being held is (as in “what is this?”). (Ella)

Whachamacallit: Chocolate-Peanut Butter Zone bar (the second of two reward choices Cal is given in the morning if he  stayed in bed all night, woke up with a dry Underjam and didn’t suck his thumb; if he does two of the three things, he gets half of a Whachamacallit). (Cal)

Ya Ya: Ella (Ella)